I really appreciate the positive response to starting up this blog again. I got so many good comments, not only on here, but on FB as well. It's so nice to know I have so many people running this race along side me. Running is just more fun with others. Don't quit.
I really feel like God is calling me to write on here. You know, after Griffin died, we had several people who had been through something similar tell us we ought to journal. I've never journaled before except for on here about running. Well, I take that back. When I was in 5th grade I started keeping a journal (NOT a diary - "Journal" sounds more manly.) I think I kept it for about 2 weeks. I wrote down what happened each day at school. It was pretty boring as you might imagine but I enjoyed it. But then I think my older sister found it and made fun of me for having a "diary". So that was the end of that. Thanks a lot Allison. That could've been the start of a writing career. :) But I do think journaling is one way I'm using to cope with loss. It's helpful for me (but not everyone) to express thoughts and talk to others about struggles.
Motivation. Big word. Not necessarily in length, but in meaning. That's been one of my biggest struggles all my life. And Satan knows that about me. He knows that I am easily distracted and uses that to lure me away from what's important. In the five weeks since Griffin's death, I have lost the motivation to run each day. I probably averaged 5-6 times a week before his death. But recently it's been 1-2 times per week tops. I'm just not motivated. Running is a skill. It takes discipline, patience, hard work but especially motivation. I've found that it's a lot easier to go out and run if I have a goal in mind. I have to know that there is a race coming up that I need to train for. I think the fact that I have no race on the horizon coupled with the tragedy of our loss has put running way down on my priority list. But I'm slowly getting it back. I've run 3 times now this week for a total of 16 miles. (I hope to run today and tomorrow as well.) That's nothing compared to what I used to do but it's much better than what I've been doing. I still love running. I love how it makes me feel and what it does for my health. I want to get a race in the works to help strengthen my motivation. Maybe I will.
I think our relationship with God is the exact same way. At least it is for me. I often lack the motivation to spend time with Him. One year ago at this time I had almost no relationship with God outside of church and my job. I had no personal relationship. I didn't spend time with Him each day. I wanted to but I just couldn't find the motivation to do so. I justified it by saying that church and chapel at school were enough. And there are other things too. I mean we pray before meals. We read to the boys before bed. I go on youth retreats. I follow the rules except for the occasional mistake. I'm fine. Right? Wrong! It's not enough. I think it's vital to have personal time with him. Every day. I finally figured that out and tried it. It's not easy. Life gets in the way. Satan makes other things more appealing. Television, movies, naps, books, family, friends, fun. I enjoy all those. But none are more important than God. Nothing is. We all know this, but do we live it? I had a good friend tell me that he made a "date" with God every night at 9:30PM. He spends at least 30 min to an hour (sometimes longer) reading scripture, praying, reading a spiritual book or practicing other spiritual disciplines. And nothing would keep him from keeping that date. I tried at night. Doesn't work for me. I've always had trouble staying awake at night. So I tried in the morning. It works a lot better for me. I'm not perfect yet. I miss occasionally because Satan gets in the way. He makes a TV show or extra sleep seem more appealing. But I'm averaging 5-6 times per week. I have simply set my alarm for 30 min. earlier. What's 30 minutes of sleep compared to eternity? I use that 30 min. each morning to pray, read, think and focus. All for God. It has done amazing wonders for me and I feel closer to Him. If the weather is good, I'll do it at Griffin's grave. It's the perfect spot to find God. I'm there each morning at 6AM. It's becoming a habit. I love that.
I encourage you to do the same. Make daily time with Him a habit. Find the right time and make it a date. And don't let anything break the date. Nothing! It will change your life. God will change your life. He's changed mine. This morning, I sat at Griffin's grave and saw God. I saw Him in the sunrise, the clouds, the birds, the breeze. I saw Him and felt Him. I longed to be with Him in Heaven. I can't wait to be with Him. Please come with me.
I love Griffin and I love God.
Keep runnin'. The PRIZE awaits. (Php. 3:14)
My Weekend with the President (Kid President)
4 years ago