Can I Keep This Going?

It's been 10 days since I last posted. Quite the break. Maybe a needed break. Maybe I'm posting too much. It's hard to know how much to post. I could always find a topic and write some thoughts but I try to wait until I feel called to do so. I try to wait until a topic is relevant to me or others. I have been busy the last 10 days but I could've posted. I just didn't feel that strongly about anything to post on. That feeling actually led me to this post. In other words, not posting led me to think about a post on not posting. So I decided to post on the fact that I wasn't posting. Confused? Me too.

Some other news first.....

I've stopped running again. My heal really was getting better but it just wasn't like it should be so I decided to take another week off. I hate it...again, but it's probably best. CC starts next week so I'll try running then. I bought a heel-gel-pad-support-thingy for my shoe. I like it. Hope it helps. If not, I'll wear it anyways just cause it feels good.

I did do a long run a week ago Sunday. We had just gotten back from Hilton Head the night before. When we got back, we started going through the mail. I always enjoy that part A week's worth of mail at once. It's exciting for some reason. Maybe I'm weird. Actually scratch the "maybe." Anyways, one of the letters that Susan opened up said that the grave marker for Griffin was finished. It said it had been delivered to Woodlawn Cemetery and would be installed in a couple of days. Susan noted to me how that letter had been sent early in the week of our vacation and so the marker should already be installed. "I doubt it," I said. I figured it would take them a while to install it for several reasons: 1. We didn't purchase it through the Cemetary. 2. The plots didn't originally belong to us and getting them in our name has been a lenthy on-going process. I didn't figure they'd install it w/o it being in our name. 3. They are busy like everyone else. I figured it would take weeks. I decided to run there the next morning, Sunday morning. I typically do this. It's an exact 5 mile run there and 5 miles back. The run was great. Heel hurt at first like always but then went away. I got to Griffin's grave in a great time. I felt really good. As I stopped to rest and slowly walked up the sidewalk to the beautiful area that is his resting place, I could see it. It was there.

"It's there." was all I could say. I was still breathing pretty hard from the run and I just couldn't believe the marker was there. I just didn't expect it so soon. But there it was. It's beautiful. They did a wonderful job. It has my name, Susan's name and right in the middle, Griffin's name. His name is there. I think I even said "there's his name" out loud. But I quickly thought something wonderful. The marker was there. Griffin's name was there. Even his body was there. BUT HE WASN'T THERE! I know this has been stated and it's obvious but I love any reminder of this. He wasn't looking up at me. He was looking down. The four of us went yesterday in the pouring rain and added some flowers to the new vase on the new marker. It was the first time Susan has been back and the first time the boys have been at all. They agreed the marker looks great but we talked about how it's just a reminder. It's not his final home. He's with God, safe in the arms of Jesus, waiting for his brothers and parents, having an amazing time. What a blessing!!

Speaking of Griffin.... I had someone suggest that I tweak the signoff on these posts. They very kindly suggested that I add my wife and other sons. I talked to Susan about it and I do want to do that. I hope I never implied that I don't love those three. And I wouldn't want them to ever think I don't love them just as much as I do Griffin. It's just that he's been a little special lately because he did enter and exit this world a little differently than expected. But I will change my signoff. It's time.

So back to the topic. Can I keep this going? Keep what going? This. My new life. My new relationship with God. This blog. My desire to share what God, His Son and His Spirit have done for me over the last few months. Being on fire for God. Wanting to know Him and study Him and be with Him. Can I keep that going? When I didn't post for over a week, the thought..."am I losing it?"....crossed my mind. Could I not think of anything to post on because I'm losing what I've gained? Is that was that was? Since that terrible day on March 27, I have been so much closer to God. I am learning so much about Him and my relationship with Him. There is so much I want to share and talk about. It's almost a constant euphoric feeling. I don't want to lose that. Will I? I'm afraid I might. Will it get stale? Will I run out of things to share or talk about? How can I stay on fire like I am if I live another 50 years? Anybody else worry about this? I want to keep this going always. And I plan to. I'm just wondering how exactly I'm going to do that. I think I've figured out that it's going to take effort on my part. I'm going to have to work to stay in constant contact with God. I'm going to have to continue to look for ways to serve others...look for ways to share with others.....spend as much time with God as possible....and yes, keep posting away on here. This definintely helps, but it will take so much more. But I'm not giving up. I don't want to go back to the way it was....not that it was bad....but this is so much better. So I dare say it's more than a "little Christian light". It's a fire. And I don't ever want my fire to go out. (Lev. 6:13) Help me keep it going and I'll do the same for you. Let's keep the fires strong, bright, powerful, and very easily seen by others.

I love God, Griffin, my Girl, and my Guys. (How's that?)

Keep runnin'. The PRIZE awaits. (Php. 3:14)

-Albert